How should I "tenderize" my "meat"?!
How should I "tenderize" my "meat"?
I try beating it but it only gets chaffed. Any suggestions?
Answers: Ouch man. What you gotta do is get some Jergins hand lotion, light up some candles, turn on a hot pr0n, and slowly work the meat. Just smacking it won't do anything but hurt it, you gotta be gentle ;D Soak it in coca cola for 30 min before cooking. I'm not sure what your definition of "beating" is, but try using a meat tenderizer (it's usually a metal or wooden mallet or hammer with spikes on it) and pound the meat down to about 1/4". If that doesn't work, you can buy a pork tenderizer sprinkle or beef tenderizer sprinkle that looks a lot like Kosher salt. It's in the spice section. I've only had luck with the sprinkle on chicken. Put it through a meat grinder. You'll never have to worry about chaffing again. I'm wondering if this question is actually about "meat"! lol Ummm sounds to me you're talking about masturbating. So if thats what your talking about be more clear... Try a good marinade. Or some lotion. Try the new pump action ones, it sends 6 or more nail like objects straight through the meat to tenderize the fibers. How's that sound?