Why are people so defensive with vegetarians?!
Why are people so defensive with vegetarians?
I'm a vegetarian and I don't flash it in other people's faces, and I do not try to "convert" people to vegetarianism.
Today at my aunts everyone is like flaunting meat in my face. My cousin just had to show me the lobster bisque soup. Which just the idea of eating an animal makes me sick, but she is sure that I am jealous.
Also, everyone has to make it a point that I am missing out on the ham.
Anyways, just wondering how I could handle this. I don't want every family function to be like this.
Answers:
A lot of omnivores feel threatened by vegetarians because you have rejected their lifestyle. They therefore assume you are criticizing and rejecting them simply by making a choice for yourself. I don't really understand omnivores who say that they're sick of vegetarians and vegans trying to convert them. I have rarely witnessed this (before or after being veg), and it's actually usually the other way around, as you are experiencing right now! I've only ever behaved this way myself with close family after one too many comments of "mmm...baby cow." I figure after that, they deserve to hear a "moo" when they cut into their veal. ;-) It's all tongue in cheek, and not meant to offend.
There's also a theory that these omnivores that get not just defensive, but offensive with veggies actually feel guilty deep down inside, and need a way to justify themselves and their behavior--just like all bullies do.
In the future, just say you've made a private decision and you'd rather not discuss it. Try bringing a veggie dish you think they'll like to share. Personally, I make a point of being friendly. For instance, when seeing a meat dish someone has gone through a lot of trouble to prepare, I'll say, "Wow, what a lot of work you've done! I'm sure everyone will enjoy it." And develop a thick skin. Cause there are always going to be people like this.
Source(s):
My parents aren't just omnivores, they're Republicans. ;-o
I guess people like to flaunt their lifestyle to kind of validate it. In the case of your family you should just be upfront with them and let them know that you don't judge them and that you respect their eating habits and that you expect the same respect from them.
Just smile and nod, and do your own thing.
I think people become defensive because some vegetarians do just what your family is trying to do to you - convert.
Sandy
By being a vegan.veggie your standing out from the crowd, also being a vegan/veggie is like have a big sign above your head saying that I'm more moral than you. In which this case is wrong, as morals are human based and have nothing to do with nature in action.
In any case, next time it happens, just say in a polite and firm voice "knock it off and grow up".
They think that your trying to be all high and mighty on them. They may think that you think your better than them. While I would say that maybe you should show them so really good vegetarian meals, they just might take that the wrong way too. They are pretty much trying to comfort themselves because they may or may not subconsciously feel kind of guilty about their own life style choices, such as eating animals. So, just be careful how you react.
Sometimes I think the very goal of every family function is to upset one another and start a fight. (shaking head)
I'm stuck in the middle and eat meat only when my body signals that it needs it. I'll get cravings for eggs or beef and it's a sign my body needs protein.
Someone asked recently if I would be offended if they ordered lobster or something and of course the answer is no! Try not to be so sensitive about it and then people can't push your buttons. If you want to be accepted as a vegan or vegetarian then be willing to accept others as they are.
Tell your family to show a little more respect for what is important to you. If being around that kind of food bothers you then don't go but don't go and allow them to bully you. Love means respecting a persons choices even if you disagree.
In some cases it could be that they're feeling flustered if they have to go out of the way to accommodate your diet. Exspeacally if they live with you and are around your choice all the time. But if not then it's because you're different. Everyone who is different gets picked on. The chicken with a spot on it's head gets pecked at by other chickens until it dies. Also, you probably, by your example, make them feel guilty because they know what they should be doing. Adam and Eve were vegetarians because God did not give permission to eat meat until after Noah's Ark landed. And because in the Garden of Eden nothing could die anyways, of course they couldn't eat meat. And God said, all the fruits of the garden I give to you. Origionally He didn't say anything about meat. I have tried vegetarianism several times and personally can not do it because my body was not built for it. I become ill and weak. I believe that as our bodies grew imperfect we needed more nutrients to survive. So God okayed meat. In the Garden living wasn't stressful so a vegetarian diet was sufficient enough. Also, consider the fact that Jesus said, ?t is not what goes into your mouth that make you clean or unclean but what comes out that makes you clean or unclean. So when some people who are heavily Christian hear that you're vegetarian, they might think that you're opposing Jesus Christ. Or that you're trying to earn your salvation. Well, people assume alot of thing. God Bless. Good Luck!
Well, most don't understand you being vegetarian, I don't fully understand it either, but it is your choice (more meat for me, woohoo!, haha), but I do fully understand how it is to have it pushed on you, the many times it is the other way around, many vegetarians try to push their beliefs on everyone else. Thanks for not being one of them, I guess it goes both ways. I think it stems from people not being tolerant of other peoples differences.
Pesonally I would tell them first why you choose to be vegetarian, leaving out that it is better for you because that will only cause a huge arguement, but tell them that you just can't stand the thought of eating another animal, and ask them politely to respect that. They may not realize that them encouraging you to eat meat bothers you.
If that doesn't work, punch 'em in the face, haha
Unfortunatly anytime you choose to do something outside what is considered "normal" you will encounter a problem, I think it is just human nature.
I have never seen a vegetarian that didn't make a big deal about it. Don't tell me you are different. If I came to eat with you and you offered me only fruits and vegetables, I would eat them and not make a fuss. You people make those vegie burgers that are supposed to taste like meat. If you crave the taste of meat, don't be a phony. What is with the tofu. If you want protein, don't be a phony.
Remind them that you could eat meat if you wanted and request that they please not harass you over your choices.
If your a new vegetarian, then they may be thinking they could tug you back to the meat side of the buffet. They might get over it.
Sylvia Plath wrote a lot about how disgusted she was with everyday human activities pertaining to her body, her wants and needs, her desires and the necessities such as eating and defecation, sweating, and other things many people may offhand think are disgusting, but as we go through life we come to accept and get used to those things, and some people even embrace them. So for all your conviction that eating living creatures is "revolting" or whatever, I just can't take it too seriously, since life a death on a small scale happens around us at a startling rate, while we ourselves are constantly in flux, sloughing off skin, killing bacteria while washing our hands, destroying the environment by taking a shower, it's inevitable, it's unavoidable, and there's no reason to feel disgusted doing what people have been doing for millenia, to survive. And besides, bacon is delicious. Relish it, honor the dead animals, but you shouldn't feel bad about eating them.
My personal opinion is that people are defensive with vegetarians because they know what they are doing is not ideal but don't want to do anything about it. Vegetarians challenge their personal view that it is too hard to do the right thing.
Why?
Well, let's consider the pros and cons of animal husbandry.
Cons:
Many people believe that killing and eating animals in a time when we are not lacking for other sources of food is inhumane.
There are, however, more objective reasons:
Meat is unhealthy for human beings, especially in the quantities in which it is consumed in modern societies.
Meat is unhealthy for the planet and an inefficient use of resources. One pound of beef is made using seven pounds of grain. One pound of chicken is made using four pounds. It takes 15x the amount of water to grow cows than it does to grow an equal weight of grain. Meanwhile, we are depleting our aquifers by over-pumping them; at best, this will force us to reduce our water usage to a sustainable level once we hit-rock bottom; at worst, aquifers will fill with saline water when they are depleted and be ruined, for all practical purposes, forever.
According to a UN report released last year, methane from farm animals contributes to over 20% of global warming.
Many diseases that have plagued us throughout human history come from living in close quarters with animals. For a modern and very relevant instance: avian flu. Other diseases are only possible to contract from eating meat products - for instance, mad cow disease is contracted from cow brains and other neural tissues like the spinal cord.
Meanwhile, Americans and citizens of other developed countries consume huge, historically unparalleled amounts of meat. As other countries like China and India modernize and begin to approach our standard of living, they will demand more meat -- as we speak, China's consumption of soybeans is skyrocketing so it can feed its growing demand for pork. (Soybean production in America is simultaneously shrinking as more and more farmers plant corn to produce ethanol, causing Brazil to destroy more rainforest to keep up with China's growing demand. The NYTimes ran a front-page article on this over a month ago.)
Now, the pros of eating meat (if you don't believe me, look at some of the other replies to your question):
It is a source of protein and contains essential amino acids. (However, both of these can be obtained through careful selection of vegetarian options.)
People have been doing it for a long time so they are used to it. (However, never before have there been so many people on earth and never before have they eaten it in the quantities to which many have become accustomed.)
People like the way it tastes and are unwilling to give it up in favor of less-tasteful soy and other vegetarian options. (I, personally, love the taste of meat. I decided it isn't worth it.)
Upshot:
People who eat meat may not be aware of all of the reasons I mentioned above, but they do know, on some level, that it is not ideal, that something should guide their choices beyond 'it tastes good'. They tell themselves -- and me, when I ask -- that it is too difficult to quit, because they are essentially addicted. Vegetarians, by simply existing as such, challenge their excuse that it is too hard - look, someone else was able to do it, was able to overcome their attraction to the taste in the name of something they believe in; why shouldn't carnivores be able to do it, too? And because emotions are powerful and many of the reasons not to eat meat are relatively abstract and removed from every day life, they react by suppressing their knowledge that what they are doing is wrong and instead attempt to resolve their internal conflict by removing its cause -- if the vegetarian eats meat, then there is no problem if they, too eat meat. This leads to unpleasant situations like the ones detailed in your question.
So more power to you. Stick with it...
I have been a vegan for a number of years now, before that I was vegetarian, however since moving to Australia I have been confronted and abused so much for my choice to not eat flesh foods.
I like you do not expect anyone to give up meat, eggs and dairy foods, however as soon as we go somewhere to eat out it starts, all I have to do is ask what could the chef suggest as I am a vegan. Vegan, my god it is as I slapped the chef in the face, how can I not eat meat???
How weird I am they say, how they 'love their meat' that is cool it is their choice, yet it appears that if you decide to be a non-meat eater you can expect to told you are strange and that we are suppose to eat meat, on and on it goes.
I feel it is perhaps fear, some people actually think I survive on tomatoes and lettuce, after all what can a vegan eat? And how can I possibly be healthy?
Let them get on with it, you will come across these sorts of people as long as you choose to follow your heart, I have found the best way to beat them is to ignore their comments, simply change the subject and do not let them achieve a reaction, when they can not wind you up they will stop trying.
Wow, you do hae a childish family, dont you ?
There is little point in trying to reason with them as it seems they are just picking on you. have you recently become veggie or something ?
Or maybe join in and say "eeemmmm, dead decaying cow. lovely" or "eeemmm, is that a maggot i see in that lobster"
Try to not talk about it, eventually they will give up and move onto another cousin who dyes his hair pink or something.